There I was.
Just lying on the couch, looking up for answers.
The pain in my heart, so overwhelming.
So difficult to pass through, to pass over.
I wanted to move forward, to forgive, to heal, to be made whole.
How could I do those things on my own?
How could I let go of this pain that seemed to fill a room, fill my heart?
I sat still, letting thoughts come and go.
Some prayers, some thoughts, but then my words became more fervent.
“I need relief,” I pleaded.
And then the Spirit began to teach, to remind me of things long past.
“He was bruised.”
Despised. Rejected. Smitten. Afflicted.
He had already paid for the pain I was currently suffering.
It was as if I was searching for change in couch cushions to pay the bill that He had since paid, plus more.
If He had felt the pain already—the one I was still carrying—why exactly was I carrying it still?
So, I knelt.
And asked in earnest,
“Please take this pain, take it away.”
Slowly, peace began to come. The weight on my chest, in my throat, in my heart, began to lift.
Just as the wind would take dandelion seeds, beautifully and almost effortlessly, so He took my pain.
Then it came.
Peace. Hope. Healing and wholeness. His love.
As if it had been there all along.
Just waiting in the wings.
See Isaiah 53:3-7