Since writing for A Worldwide Sisterhood this year, I usually have a topic or two in mind as my week for sharing approaches. And the closer it gets, the clearer my topic becomes, and words begin to flow. I had two topics in mind for today’s post, but in the last few weeks, life has changed for all of us, and they no longer feel right.
So rather than reach for something that no longer feels attainable or relevant, I am going to look for what does. I am going to look for clarity.
Clarity to know what I need to learn while we are at home, sheltering from the storm of Covid-19.
I know there is something I need to learn—that God is trying to teach me. Something that could only be taught through this trial. And it feels important, so I will continue to search for it until I find clarity.
Clarity to know what it really means to be equal partners with my spouse while we are in close quarters with our children as he works from home.
Clarity to know what it means to be faithful when I am unable to attend church.
Clarity to know how important friendship is to my mental health.
Clarity to understand how to better build up my faith on my own.
Clarity to understand what things I can now do without.
And clarity to now realize what I cannot live without.
Clarity to know that the work I have been called to is still worthwhile, even more so, as we all struggle to thrive.
Clarity to know how better to serve and love my neighbor.
Clarity to truly know who I am when I am stripped down to the necessities.
Clarity to find another layer of reaching, pleading prayer.
Clarity to find the strength I need in myself. And in God.
The clarity I need to see why God allows this trial.
And the clarity I need to understand that there is wisdom in even this.
Clarity to understand how still far away I am to understanding God’s ways in bringing about the eternal life of his children.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9
So I will continue to seek clarity, but in His ways, and by following His paths. And He will show me in His wisdom, in His timing.
In all thy ways, acknowldge Him, and He shall direct they paths.”
Proverbs 3:6
If you are still seeking as I am, hang on. In the craziest storms, we can still find Christ. He endured all, so that He could be next to us for this too, and understand every personal emotional, physical, mental, and ecomonical trial we are each enduring now. He knows.
Yet even Peter doubted while walking on water.
Yet the apostles doubted in the storm.
But it is not the doubt that matters. It is what you do with it. And how you look up towards Heaven, to God, and to the place beside you for Christ, and seek Him, while enduring every storm, hoping the clouds will part—that clarity will come.
It will. Let Him hold your hand through this. He has got you. And He loves you—even in your doubt, as you continually seek clarity.
Featured image by Rhonda